jeudi, avril 27, 2006

how can i have somebody i don't own? how can i lose somebody i never had? We don't lose the person. We lose a part of ourselves..and in the end it doesn't really matter.. because the more we lose ourselves, the more we find ourselves. We don't change. We just grow.

i made that last night. the sincerest thoughts comes without thought blocking when ur kinda tipsy. was listening to dishwalla for the nth time. As i raised my hand to give a toast for myself, then the thought hit me........ im free :) ima good. ir really is liberating to drink sometimes. i never enjoyed drinkin this much except when im drinking wine instead. i was drinking vodka cruiser last night. tasted too sweet so i added more vodka. thanks to my best bud, Ek for giving me the idea to drink alone. hehe ;0

i love my friends, and those people id want to help in the future.

sometimes the same thought hit me....... whats d purpose of my life? whats d meaning of my life? purpose........meaning........ so many thoughts so little time.

hope we find the meaning of waking up everyday. i wish i could wake up everyday with a smile on my face. not that i aint smilin but im usually expressionless. boring.

wanna go to paris

fall in love again

talk to strangers without gettin scared

wanna learn how to ride a bike

eat ice cream in the park

smell flowers and gaze at them

wanna go on top of the mountain

even if i have to go down again

watch the sunset with the one i love

watch the sunrise with the one i watched the sunset with

live today as if its my last chance at life

i wanna swim again

swim at a nice quiet beach

wanna visit london.

wanna do so many things.

in a nutshell.....


figure me out.

mardi, avril 25, 2006

You Are 72% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.
You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

lundi, avril 24, 2006

A collection of destiny

The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.

A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control: “Marriage and hanging go by destiny” (Robert Burton).

The power or agency thought to predetermine events: Destiny brought them together.

[Middle English destine, from Old French destinee, from feminine past participle of destiner, to destine, from Latin destinare, to determine.]

here are several definitions of destiny, but the way i see it...

its when free will coincides another's free will. The beauty of destiny lies in its inevitability, and at the same time its flexibility. Destiny is flexible when interfered with free will. The dilemma lies in the extent of being in a "free" state of mind.

Only a few things matter in this world. Most of which are the things that we do. Doesn't matter so much what we think. It only becomes something of prime importance if we act upon it.
Was watchin some korean flick awhile ago and i noticed that most people (ahem) dont say what they really mean. its so weird. since when did we learn to become like that? Its something that distinguishes us from kids. and like what Dr. House always says, "Everybody lies".. whether its a little lie, a white one, black or a big one... it usually causes some trouble.

life's full of dilemmas.

dilemmas remain dilemmas

and they just add up in my blog. hehe.

lundi, avril 17, 2006

Heartaches will last as long as you want them to...

somebody told me this before or ive read that somewhere, and ive always kept that in mind. but right now, nothing seems to strength seems to wear off... everything i do... reading books, listening to music, browsing thru my stuff... everything seemed to remind me of him..

im not searching for him...yet y does everything seem to remind me of him? havent i learned enough? i wanna move on. fall in love with myself all over again.

i wanna forget...but why does everything seem to against what i plan to do?

............................ anyways, in my attempt to forget abt him, ill just talk abt a documentary that captured my heart last night. (oh nice. the word "heart" reminded me of him!?)

well, i was searching for something interesting last night, and i watched iwitness. its a tv show in gma7. jay taruc made this documentary entitled, "gutom". its was indeed an eye-opener. moreso, it was a tear-jerker. yes, my pseudo-maangas face softened, and i cried.

it was about the poor families living along manila...those who didnt have enough to eat. :( i dont wanna go back to expensive restaurants anymore. not even to starbucks or the coffeeshops i always hangout at... the cup of coffee i drink, even costs more than a family living at vaseco can earn per day :( such a very sad thought. i hope there was smething all of us can do to help them.

... un lang muna. m not in d mood to write muna.

dimanche, avril 16, 2006

Last night, in my efforts to escape boredom, i turned on my ever-reliable tv (again) and i watched 'the apocalypse' its a show, that was made to inform the public about the bible codes and how they work. It was pretty interesting.... really, but i was wondering, what do they decipher those for?

It think theyre desperately trying too hard to gaze into the future. Its like astrology, wherein the positions of the stars and the year you were born have a significance in your daily life.

Well, personally, everything in this world, in its own spatial design and purpose, (especially the ones we often ignore) have a significance in our lives. Its just that living all your life in the shadow of trying to decipher all the meanings behind everything will make you crazy (and funny). Its interesting to once in awhile try to pre-empt whats gonna happen next but its wiser to make sound decisions whether wrong or right.

Life is great big puzzle. All we can do is find clues on how to live it, and place our blessings where they should belong.... and in the end, this makes us whole.

i wrote something the other night, and irregardless if u guys could "decipher" is meaning or appreciate its content, up to u.

Close your eyes, and you think you can't see a thing. So, all if us become "blind", every so often. The world is fast, the mind is too slow. With every blink of an eye, time has changed and everything else does. It doesn't have to be painful, but if it persists long enough, we begin to perceive.

We're blinded with every blink of an eye, and no matter how hard we try to keep our eyes open, it can only do for so long. We have to blink, to see again. If we don't, our visions blur and our eyes well up with tears.

"The eyes are the windows to the soul" We have to blink and stop once in awhile to see again. If we lose sight of what lies ahead, we could blink and wipe away the tears. It's when we sleep, wherein our minds gain magic.

What can't be seen isn't always right, and what we can't is not always a dream.

jeudi, avril 13, 2006

It ain't over TIL ITS OVER

Im such a love-fool. I love talking and listening about stories of love and how it conquers all. And in between love and the thin line that separates it from its mystery, i find myself trapped and drowned in the own concepts that i've held on to. Love is indeed so great that it shakes the entirety of my ego, and its boundaries.

It makes me happy to love --- and yes, im very crazy coz it gives me pain just the same. Love makes me childish, childlike... and everything that pertains to uncontrollable yearning of a 3-year-old kid for ice cream (disclaimer: i still am a 3-year-old when it comes to loving ice cream ;p )

I long to stare at the eyes that seem to discover all that i am, those eyes that makes me feel naked, though i'm not. And yet to overcome the shame of it all. Ill allow that person to look at me like that all over again.

Whats was wrong with what ive done, is that I let him stare at me endlessly and he got used to it that he no longer wants to discover whats left of me. Thats what hard about loving... its like drinking alcohol for the 1st time. You never know you're drunk till u aleardy passed out...and whats left of you the next day, are headaches and hangovers and blurred memories of what used to be.

it ain't over til its over.
lets dwell in drunkeness forever....

mardi, avril 11, 2006

yesterday all my troubles seemed so faaaaaaaaaaaar away. hehehe :) my face laughs, my heart aches. awwwwwwwwwwwww.... this thing abt not communicating to him to make him realize how much he has taken me for granted is like trying to drown in the dead sea.

i woke up this morning and i checked my fone, hoping that he texted. or at least somebody did. where's everyone? hmmmmmmmm...nobody texted me. its been 4 days i havent made any move, and i feel awful... he doesnt seem to communicate too (except last sunday) im afraid that if i make a move, i will FOREVER be taken for granted (i wont allow that) Is this the end?

A famous line in a song echoes in my head, "you only get what u give"... where have i gone wrong? i dont think i deserve to be ignored... ever. ive been good to him... i guess some people just appreciate another if theyve lost him/her already.

he's losing me bit by bit and what stings is that he's "too busy" to notice.

mercredi, avril 05, 2006

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.
You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.
You are good natured and people enjoy your company.
You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.
How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You're open to new people and friends, which makes you a pretty popular person.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

mardi, avril 04, 2006

ive been watching the whole 1st season of one tree hill (ive been soooooo deprived) anyways, its nice. but one thing i realized, is that u should not watch it on a marathon (like what i always do)... meanings get loose and u simply miss out on some points. wala lang. i wonder what am i gonna do for the 8 weeks of my vacation? dont know. just wanna spend time at home, sometime with my friends..........and what else... paint, draw, write, read read read all the good books ive missed. m reading gabriel garcia marquez now, and an alexander dumas book that i half-read when i was in high school ;p

its weird, what mattered to me when i was younger doesnt matter as much to me now... is this what getting old is all about? hmmmmmmmm... oh well. life goes on.