Everybody's Changing

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Tensionado.

My life is an adventure.

Yesterday, i didn't come to class...not because i was lazy (pero ok lang din hehe :) ) but because i was rushed to the ER around 3am. rewind rewind.

uno scenario
12:30 am : was tryin to read katzung (serious!) coz i gave up deciphering the long run-on sentences of the anesthesia h.out... ebs brought me some raspberry capuccino (raspberry's my fave) and while on the way to my room, (4th floor) i was gulping down the coffee already :) yumyum it was like eating strawberry and muchin on dark chocolate at the same time.... so when i reached my room....tada! mauubos na pala. hahaha. pero wait...... parang i couldn't breathe... patay.

i lied down. texted u-know-who and he-who-must-not-be-named.... i was seeking for comfort.... shet. i was tachypneic...was tryin to breath so i calmed myself down by closing my eyes.

1:30 am it seemed like i was running out of breath. i asked my roomy to get my bp (she woke up already) it was 160 over 100....tsktsktsk tensionado. exagg. it was my highest bp ever. it was my 5th hypertensive episode...and the worst one.

2am was prompting myself to sitting position..... i couldnt possibly sleep. i was in respiratory distress... i was calling u-know-who 21 times already but he can't be reached. i called up jj, he asked me to call glen. glen picked me up, we were supposed to go to the er straight but somethin inside me told me that i should go to the fh....we went there....wen i got to his room...he wasn't there.

talk about tension rising....grabe.

i called up claire....asked her if she was still with him...wala daw...
miraculously, ebs' line suddenly ringed...whatta coincidence diba.

ho hum! he heard wat he deserved. i demanded for him to go sa fh and im giving him 15 mins to explain....if he doesnt show up in 15 mins, its over...and i meant that.

so here he comes with his -sha-pa-ang-may-gana-magalit look. tsktsk my bp was 160 over 120 and my rr was worsening....i was cryin. i dont know what i was supposed to feel.

i felt betrayed. i felt alone. but i had no choice but to rely on him. and so i did.

that faithful 3am, he brought me to the er...i was gven felodipine...and 4hours later, my bp gradually dropped to 130 over 100...i was advised to go see a cardiologist...

so here i am...waiting at the lru...i have to see yami's mom.

i'm hoping that i'm not too sick.

tensionado lang.

What i want for christmas is ........

hehehe. nothing. not that i couldn't think of anything but i just wanna stay at home and have a nice dinner with my family :) i hope my mom gets here really soon. i miss her :(

funny. i didn't do anything last night. as in NADA. i didn't read any book or i didn't even go out. nothing's wrong with me :) i just got too touched yesterday. yesterday was one of the most magical days of my life. its like living inside the pages of "the alchemist"........coelho... the universe conspires with you....pero for me, if u want the universe to conspire, you should also learn to conspire with the universe. you don't wait til forever for things to happen. you make the 1st move.

you never really realize how fortunate you are until you see someone who's soooo much less fortunate. its a common mind-set na that people go blind with whatever they see...people are so numb with the miracles of daily living. they just live like machines and go off like one also. sad.....depressing.

everyday is indeed a miracle...only if we concentrate on certain things that we're supposed to really appreciate. sometimes you have to stop and smell the flowers.... BLOOM WHERE YOU WERE PLANTED.

when i was in grade school,i was taught to be kind and courteous especially to the elderly... it took me oh so long to realize how important that was... yesterday i saw this super old lady (80ish) and she was selling fans. actually this is the 2nd time i saw her. but i was moved even more now. she was in front of burger king carrying all the abanicos that she's selling. she has sever scoliosis probably due to an underlying bone dse maybe osteoporosis.....surrounding her were college students of the royal and pontifical and only catholic university in asia, UST. no one dared to help her and they were just too god damned engaged in their useless talks to even notice her.......my gosh..what's happening to the world?! HELLO EARTH! just seeing her and being able to converse with her was a miracle for me.

iba na talaga ang mundo ngayon. i expect so much more from educated people. do u really need to be educated to help someone like that? i dont think so. its human nature. its an instinct. its like getting hungry, and eating something afterwards.

whatever happened to what they learned in school? grabe. this world is turning into something else. evolution na ba to? if it is evolution of principles and dogmas, fuck. i wish id die sooner.

the universe conspires....oh so true.
but it wont recognize that ur human unless u act like one.

What's the difference of a person and a dog seeing a sickly old woman (trying to earn a decent living)?
the dog can ignore or stay beside her or do nothing at all.
the person SHOULD be human enough to help out the old lady or do something about it.

but what i saw yesterday was a place full of dogs...
all of them looked the same.

Bathrooms!

i love bathrooms (especially if they're really nice)
but i hate ust washrooms. ewwwwwww!
i think if im gonna have a place of my own...i mean own house talaga (no roooooomies)
this would be the nicest room!

its a haven of release ;p

here's one nice design that i really like for my own place :) take a peek!



nice huh?! there's a combination of nostalgia and modern look :) cute noh... anyways, is sooooooooo dreamy today even if i had a bad start. hehehe :)

anyways, what do u think?!

I had a great weekend!!!! super happy weekend :)
shopping shopping! i really love shopping! who doesn't? ;p

anyways, i'm kinda in a hurry right now.
i have a quizzy in prev med pero havent read about it yet
wahooooooo! crammin' time again.

i have a blog topic na in mind pero later na...

i got senti last nite...
i didnt know why but after havin a date with robbins
and after a few mugs of coffee thereafter
and a few smokin pipes.......

life is such a metaphor.

only a few people figure it out.

:p time to do some readin'

FRIDAY BOREDOM

its friday today. realized lang during pedia time.
have nothing to do. i'm in a bad mood again.
pharma is okay.

but

i don't have sundo :(

what a cranky way to end the week :(

Drugged

I think i had an overdose of drugs yday :)
WHOOPS. before u think otherwise, it was all about tryin to remember their names.
i have 2 favorite group of antibiotics! ---> FLUOROQUINOLONES and SULFONAMIDES ;P
(whatta nerdy thing to be happy about!) hahahaha. anyway, the flying gagamba was back again last night :( so scary!!!! and irritating at that. and i realized somebody else is really really more irritating.

what can i say? lack of manners. in tagalog. KUPAL.

hahahha i was fashionably late again for class today. 47 minutes. woohoo! its a good thing we didn't do much but just to listen to mario's report (which was actually very well said *clap*clap*) nainspire ata akong magdrug monitoring! wahahahah ;p

anyways, i woke up this morning kinda on the wrong side of the bed. coz somebody is really really really getting on my nerves as usual. hay.

id rather live with an incy wincy next year talaga! one last major move nalang im gonna get rid of that worse-than-incy creature.

my coffee was great this morning...bute nalang that compensated for that irritating muchaha. carrot raisin loaf was good too that's why im in a good mood. :)

i realized somethin last nyt (again)

i shouldn't be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo affected na with oher people. (actually i really am affected only with people that i care so much about!)

speaking of...my great great great cutie and lovable and kissable and huggable brother texted meeeeh :) what could ruin my day? NOTHING. a text from him is like walking on the moon. nakanampuch. he's so cute and pikon. i love him.

he texted me, "love is all about timing. It is of no use meeting the person, too soon or too late..." - Chow-Mo-Wan.

fudge...what an inspiring thingie from my cute and lovely and kissable and huggable baby brother! (i hope he's not in love yet though!!!! :( )

well well. time to cram for my pharma druggie exam ;p

Roses are red, violets are blue
sugar is sweet
AND MY BLOG IS NEW.

;p hope u liked it.
soooooooooobra scariest night of my life last night.....
i've never been happier din about my katzung ;p

i'm soooooooooo tryd. i'll cram for OB muna.

later.

hope some people wouldn't make out so much out of nothing.

...i guess
love is
constant cycle of
letting go, and acceptance....

TAGAYTAY LIGHTS

:) parang marloboro lights ;p
nyahahaha ;p anyways, i went to tagaytay last sat with bf ;p
finally

i realized something....

People change every so often, and when you love someone, you just have to learn how to accept him through time. You learn to love when you choose to gather enough courage to let go of what that person used to be, and have faith with what the changes may bring.. Its a cycle of letting go, and acceptance.

Eventually, you learn to give up your dreams and aspirations of a perfect person. You learn to overlook that harsh reality of life that was once concealed by what we used to know. If you only want to indulge in happiness and eternal bliss, then i think you're supposed to forget that you'll ever find love..The truth is, its just within you......and you just have to be strong enough to give it away.

Love does not only encompass what can be understood by many. Its peculiarity lies in the idea that everyone tries to prepare for it, when in fact, you can never prepare for whatever it may bring you.

So, did i ever love my ex's?

I guess i did. but i choose to love myself a little bit more.

FRIDAY BLOOM

Kaboom! wassup wassup?
can't think of anything to say ehehehehe
just finished this hellish day in school...pharma quiz, pedia examzzzzzzzzzzz
tsktsktsk ;p just got lucky! yahoo. nyaps ang labo.

last nite in between reading my forlorn photocopies of handouts, (that seemed like it was from the 1958) hehehe, i was contemplatin again. oh my gosh! so many people missed me last nite...c faye, emman and someone...

but the one that really mattered to me...
forgot to even text me good night
that he went to a coffeeshop (i dont even know where)
that he's home na...

dang. why do i have to put up with such a forgetful boyfriend? someone who can't forget the childish stories of japanese anime, yet he forgets my birthday, our monthsary....and worse, even me.

fishies are swimming
roses are red
but not quite

its kinda makin sense to me last night that maybe he's not really mature enough for me....i was sooooooooooooo sooooooooooo badtrip again. talk about a hellish night of bein tired from sch, and havin a bf to deal with! EFFORT!!!!!

and then i remembered, once i told someone, "life is a matter of letting things go..." i guess i wasnt quite true to my word. its so easy said than done. so i succumbed to rest...and coz i knew it was only in my dreams that i could ever let go of such pain (WAHOOOOOOOOO!so drama huh?)

i woke up almost 3 hours after..mom's calling to ask me something.

the nightmare its over.
i had to wake myself up to start anew.

and so i burned some sticks
drank coffee
read my handouts again
and burned some more...

until somebody made me smile ;p

I'M NOT TELLING! I'M NOT TELLING!

;p he made me knda forget about things that bothered me.

ERGO: you can't quit me so quickly....there's no hope in you for me...

;p

Relativity

Everything in life coincides with relativity...

last night, i had a date with nelson. Yooooooooohoooooooooo and as life's origins amazed me, i suddenly remembered einstein's theory of relativity. Its most likely that the fetal reflexes resulted from its relation to any maternal influence such as movement, emotion, social etc etc.... it's just amazing that even the unborn has experienced life, only in another world... "a mother's womb"

So what's the big deal with bein born?

Bein born to this life does not exclude us from reacting to the world in relation to its obscurities. so in a sense, we might have felt "unborn" but of course firguratively. The difference lies in the fact that we can choose whether to habituate or react as if each stimuli, is our first encounter.

in love:
i was just thinking that before after bein sooooooooo hurt with my ex, i said that "ill never do those things for anybody anymore". so i had the option to adapt or to start all over again.

in school:
People always habituate with failures. Some get really depressed after a 5pointquiz in micro, but some even fail an entire semester of subjects, yet evoking minimal responses.

MEN, ANG LABO KO NAH.

the point that i'm trying to drive at is that Einstein's famous theory doesn't only apply to physics (time space warp ngayon din! hehehe) but also in everyday life too.

Those have mastered the art of habituation become numb.
Those who choose to encounter each situation as if it were the 1st time
lives life to the fullest...or foolest?!

pedia s interesting.
and so is my life.

hung?!

dig this

For two lovers goin on a date, time passes by in seconds.
but for a girl who waits for a guy to love her, a life time passes by.
that's relativity.